pajamasparty

Tell Me I'm A Wreck

2012-01-28T09:20:00.000-08:00

Scribbles and Doodles

2012-01-26T11:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I can still make time to draw- no doodle stuff like this and actually sacrificing sleep. I actually googled logos of some of the bands I like and am decided to draw them on my canvas sling! Cool idea eh? Problem is, how can I not screw up? So I tried drawing once, in my diary. Not going to draw it on my canvas sling anytime soon though, it will be way too time consuming since I will make hell sure that it doesn't screw up.

Paradise..... Everytime She Closed Her Eyes

2012-01-24T00:27:00.000-08:00

I actually might get to go to London/Paris in the holidays coming up. Convinced my parents and I hope they would really follow through with it. I've even started writing down places to go in London, have yet to start on the Paris one though.

Can you imagine?

Sitting on the open-top red bus with the cold winds blowing through our hair, shivering but at the same time soaking in every moment. Visiting every Goodwill in the area and going crazy over cheap thrills that I can never get in Singapore. Looking at Big Ben from a far and thinking of Peter Pan, HAHA. Walking down Oxford Circus, the ultimate shopping haven and driving my parents nuts with the amount of things I will buy. Hunting for shops selling band shirts and getting stressed and upset I can't find them. (hopefully, i do) HAHA. I can't wait for it all to begin. Stroll down Brick Lane snapping pictures of the inspirational fashion along the pavements and going to every vintage thrift store. Visiting museums and just do everything possible. Having the time of my life and telling myself "fuck everything else, I'm in paradise, this is the life." And when I'm leaving the Europe I will be overwhelmed with post vacation depression. Sigh.............. dreams. I hope they would really decide to go to London and Paris. I took up french as my module just cause I knew one day I would go to Paris or anywhere else in Europe. Maybe this is it? My dream has finally came true :)

Heh, this is giving me motivation to study my french now.

February

2012-01-23T06:33:00.000-08:00

Total of 12 presentations/ project submissions/ tests this coming February. I've not written all on my scheduler cause I'm not sure of a few of the dates. I'm probably going to go nuts in February, it's going to be a bitch- I can already feel it. Looking at things positively, this would be my last month of my first year, whoooooosh!

Color

2012-01-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'll let the pictures do most of the talking as to what I've been up to. Lazy to type any more than this. Got to get to watching all my shows that I've missed.

Work at Fort Canning for Foster the People and Simple Plan (sadly, my phone died so no pictures)

Presentation Day: Eye-liner, blusher, foundation, lip balm and lip gloss

A&F cutie

MBS w the girls

Bubble bath!

Infinity Poooooooooool

OPI shatter nail polish

"Let's take a picture with the transformer!"

Shades from Peninsula and Bershka Blazer

Steamboat with 4F matesssss :) just like a family. TONS OF LAUGHTER.

Fringed Oxfords from Bugis- love

Moi. So if you haven't noticed, my brows are drawn on. A catastrophe occured when I decided to shave my brows. Half of my right brow was shaved off, thus, I had no choice but to buy a brow pencil and draw it. SIGH.

Had a reunion dinner today with my paternal side of the family. My uncle also brought a hong kong friend who is working @ Marriott Hotel and used to work for the airline industry (OMG MY FUTURE BEFORE MY EYES). Honestly, it seems really interesting, what he's doing. Glad to have caught up and laughed together with my cousins and relatives! One of the best reunion dinners to date :)

Ramblings

2012-01-11T07:53:00.000-08:00

It's funny how people always have distractions when they study and me on the other hand, uses studying as a distraction. Does it really sound absurd? HAHA. I mean I rather focus on my studies and get stressed/confused with my studies rather than emotions. If you get what I mean. So to block out all my emotional thoughts/feelings I use studies as a distraction I guess.

In other news, I'm quite disappointed at my results from the mid-semester tests. I am always short of half a mark to achieve a higher grade. That pisses me off the most.

French has been rather good though, and I'm really proud of myself :) Haha not sure if I can survive the speaking test and culture quiz though. What's worse is that I have to absorb so many slides worth of information like a sponge for a 10 mcq quiz -_- I have to start studying now and stop my procrastination. I'll worry about my speaking test later?

Lately, I've really lost the interest to dress for school. Like seriously, I would rather put effort in my dressing when I'm out of school? I have no idea why I even feel that way. Maybe it's cause I feel school's not worth dressing up for? HAHA. Oh well....

2012-01-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

Why am I crying? Stop crying. Stop thinking. I hate myself sometimes.

Hospital Trip

2012-01-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and voila, my stud sunk into my flesh of my ear lobe and it was red. I panicked and went to my mom and dad. They tried their best pulling and pushing but to no avail, I cried a waterfall cause it hurt like fuck. Excuse my language but yeah. First time I cried in 2012, just 7 days into the new year HAHA. What a loser. Anyway it bled like hell and the alcohol made it hurt so much more.

I was so scared, I couldn't express how I was feeling at that point of time. I didn't know what was going to happen, I didn't know what would happen to me, whether my stud is going to come out or is it going to be in there forever. I sound melodramatic but patronise me for awhile.

So my dad and I went to Changi General Hospital emergency area. Can you imagine..... my ear stud is considered an emergency. Anyway, I was so scared, that tears keep welling up in my eyes but I tried my best to stay strong and not let them fall.

The doctor then said I had to go for an x-ray to ensure that the stud is actually inside and didn't fall off. The x-ray procedure was kind of funny cause the x-ray guy was saying how its the first time they did an x-ray on such a thing. Anyway, so we went back to the doctor's room again and he said a mini operation has to be done. There might even be a need to stitch my ear if things get ugly. My dad got my x-ray as a souvenir -_-

The wait for the operation was horrendous, my dad and I waited for so long! And when it was my turn, I went in and it literally looked like an operation room. It was so scary for such a small thing and my body was so tense throughout the whole procedure. The artificially soft pillow, the operation bed that probably a 100 people have already laid on in that day, the glaring light, the blanket that gave me a strange sense of comfort, the doctor humming a song in my ear, my whole body getting tensed up-even my butt. Suddenly, I was just noticing everything to keep my mind of the pain. I'm happy it was over in a jiffy and the hurt even though was sharp, was quick.

Felt bad for wasting a whole morning/afternoon away and wasting my dad's time too.

That's the antibiotics I have to take for the next week omg.

Anyway I met up with Sean and Imran for Starbucks after that and everything felt back to normal. :) Sigh my stupid ear. I'll probably pierce it again if there's no scar on my left ear. Thanks for everyone who showed care and concern for me :) Really got me through somehow.

This was the first 'operation' I ever had. Hahaha another "when I was 17" moment.

Inspired yet?

2012-01-05T10:32:00.000-08:00

breakfast in bed

2012-01-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

Planning to get down to making pancakes/crepes for breakfast one day. Comfort food. Just imagine, blueberry pancakes drizzled with maple syrup and a square of butter accompanied with hot white coffee in a mug, listening to The Kooks to start off the day. You can't deny, the sound of it is soooo good. Besides, this means I'm on my way to fulfilling one of my new year resolutions.

2012

2012-01-01T09:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! :) Just got down to making new year resolutions in the scheduler that josiah got me. Painted my nails in mint too, pretty eh :) Ok here goes....

New Year Resolutions 2012

1. Get inked- something that speaks to me, if not, don't do it.

2. Don't be afraid to try new things, even if its something unexpected.

3. "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none"- Shakespeare

4. Learn to bake/COOK

5. Develop a deeper interest in the arts (musicals/concerts/museums etc)

Anybirdy wants to go for the Titanic Exhibition with me? :) This is a start to fulfilling this resolution.

6. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return"-Christian, Moulin Rouge

Forget about the past. Don't be afraid to fall in love if being with the person feels right. That is, if God sends one my way this year. And.... I won't 'look' for love, I'll wait for love to find me.

7. Get another piercing

Feel like getting one along the antihelical fold (I googled this HAHA). Which is the piercing after the helix (clockwise).

8. Write a diary/journal diligently

Trying to do this because I can never do it! Anyway I'm using the notebook Rishon self-designed for me :) one of a kind eh.

What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

2011-12-30T10:58:00.000-08:00

This is on repeat! This is too cute. But it's all over facebook....... no! They're mine :) Can I have both of them for New Year? Hehe. My dear creampuff made me realise they're both lefties, like moi! I felt so happy, somehow. But idk if it's just the camera reflections and weird shit like that which makes them look like lefties? They are still cute, nonetheless.

So Yesterday

2011-12-29T07:25:00.000-08:00

*WORD VOMIT ALERT!*

The year's drawing to a close. And I have to say that this year has passed quite fast, no? It wasn''t a smooth year for me, I'll admit it but I'm just happy I got over it.

Let's just say this year, I've learnt how we are all not as miserable as we make ourselves to be. Some people have it worse. I couldn't agree more with the previous sentence. Sometimes we just have to change our perspective and realize that nothing is as bad as it seems. And maybe, we're just making our life difficult for ourselves. Upon such a realization, I've become more thankful and appreciative of the people around me.

I've also become a much more straightforward and honest person. In the past, I would not really stand up for myself much, cause I didn't want others to take it the wrong way and feel upset with me. However, this year, I told a few of my friends off because I felt wronged by them. I stood up for what I believed in, and for myself. I can't be more proud of how I've grown in that way :') Being honest, let the people around me know how I truly feel.

Also, this year I've come to develop a deep appreciation for my friends who have been there through the good, bad and the ugly- which are not many. I like how I can just cry in front of them and I won't feel ashamed like how I used to. I like how I'm so happy when they put in so much effort to make cards for me, I really teared this year cause of birthday cards :') To me, cards mean so much to me rather than the present itself. I like how a few of my friends can say "Omg Jolene, this is soooo you!" and that they are right. It shows that these friends have surpassed a certain knowledge/understanding they have of me and I'm so touched! :) Mind you, not everyone can say that and actually get it right- as I've discovered as well. Which was much to my disappointment.

I'm glad to have made friends like Rishon, Jesslyn and Jerome that have helped me a lot this year.

I'm also thankful for friends who have always been there like Sean, especially. Thinking of our past, I remember how things got so ugly with the hazel situation. How we were sort of not friends at all at certain points of our life and how we got back to become the bestest of friends ever. We've really stuck together thick and thin..... no? I can sincerely say you're really the bestest friend ever! <3 I remember how when you had a situation with your dad, and you were crying. My heart broke along with yours and that's really the first time I felt so much about a problem that wasn't mine. I even cried also because I wanted so much to share your pain with you, as much as I won't be able to understand everything because I've never gone through it. You are someone who I can really call "my bestfriend" :') and I'm so proud of you. I'll always be here to support you when you need anyone. Our friendship will last till the end of time.

So here's a review of my 2011 New Year Resolutions that I hope I've fulfilled :)

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2011

LET LOOSE- Stop over-thinking. Stop controlling. Stop hiding. Have fun and be in my own skin. CHECK
Be courageous- Take on challenges, be adventurous, try something new and hopefully discover new interests CHECK, I guess touch football counts?
Save more money CHECK
Treasure my friends and family- do something nice for all of them and keep in touch with all my friends by making time for them (especially secondary school mates) CHECK, more of treasuring my family, cause they should be a priority in my life.
No regrets CHECK
Stop pushing people away
Be honest and straightforward with people CHECK, hellyeah.
More self-confidence- learn to love myself despite my flaws

I guess that's 6 out of 8 of my resolutions that I've fulfilled? Not bad jolene, not bad at all. So here's to a new year to everyone. I hope the year ahead will be filled with more smiles and laughters and be smooth-sailing. Happy New Year, everyone!

Some pictures from 2011

Hohoho

2011-12-24T10:22:00.000-08:00

So..... I've been doing christmas shopping today and came home about 1am+? I didn't want to let my parents find out that i got them gifts cause I want to give it to them tomorrow.

Ok, Christmas is not a very festive season in my family. Maybe cause we don't set up a christmas tree like we used to or hang red socks around, hoping that it will be filled the morning after. My family just never had this tradition of giving gifts. That's why I decided to get my parents gifts that I thought would be useful and appropriate for them. By that, I mean practical gifts that they can use. I hope they like what i got them and appreciate the thought.

I've always liked the festive season of Christmas the most out of other seasons, I just like the whole idea of it, if you get what I mean. That's why I wanted to make this year's Christmas more special for me and also the people around me. When I went gift shopping today, it felt so heartwarming and nice to get gifts for people. The feeling is unexplainable, its like a warm, fuzzy feeling that you don't always get and I love the feeling!

Next time, when I grow up and have a family of my own, I would want to have a family tradition of gift exchanges and setting up the christmas tree together. To me, Christmas is about showing your love and appreciation for another person, even if you're not a christian.

Of course, I also got gifts for a few of my closer friends and I hope that they like them! They are small gifts but still.... it's the thought that counts right? :)

Merrrrrrrry Christmas everyone!

To the strongest person I know

2011-12-15T10:32:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, SEAN <3

High and Dry

2011-12-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

Abusing the amount of time I have on my hands by catching up with all my television series such as How I Met Your Mother, New Girl and Gossip Girl.

And after which I started searching for new movies to watch and this.......

Ok I'll admit that the first intention of watching this movie is because of the dashing Joseph Gordon- Levitt.

But I can assure you 50/50 is really one of the best movies to watch and cannot be missed, this year! It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will make you think of life itself. So basically it's about this 27 year-old guy who discovers he is diagnosed with cancer and only has a 50/50 chance of surviving. The movie shows his struggles to cope with illness and how he learns to value the people in his life. Furthermore, it is based on a true life story and Seth Rogen is co-starring too! What can get better?

Not to mention, the soundtrack is greatttttttt! Love it :)

To Write Love On Her Arms

2011-12-14T22:11:00.000-08:00

So my tests are all over, whoopwhoop *does a little dance*. And I'm 3/4 way through my first year. Time passes quite fast aye.

Anyway, went out with my classmates, well just the few of us to walk and 'shop' a little. BUT THE HIGHLIGHT WAS THE ANF BOYS. They are so adorable, I swear ^.^

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! <3 *throws confetti*

P.S/ and I got my Dr Martens!

4. Caught a Lunar Eclipse

2011-12-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

So I caught a lunar eclipse today while studying + shopping online just now. First time I ever saw one so yup, it's really pretty. I tried to take a picture of it just to post it here, but unfortunately it looks like a way too tiny speck to see much of it.

Anyway I am about to buy my first pair of Dr Martens + 2 tops online. The Dr Martens is going to cost me 145 buckaroos but I think it's worth every penny. What are the odds of me finding a Dr Marts in my size and in a design that I'm dying to get. Not to mention, it's already out of stock in stores. But currently, I'm incredibly low on funds :( So since my dad has yet to get me a birthday present, I'm going to ask him to pay for the Dr Marts for me :P I'm thinking of the best way to ask him right now hahahaha.

I also got a job at Suntec Convention Centre tomorrow. I partially regretted that decision initially due to my tests being next week and all but now I'm glad I took the job. I really need some extra cash right now :) I just hope the job is not that boring and that it will all go well. *fingers crossed*

My First Vlog + Piercing

2011-12-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, just trying out something new! Here's a vlog I did today. Enjoy hehe :)

So far on my "When I was 17" List...............

1. Wore my first maxi skirt out of home

2. Pierced both my ears (what a virgin experience)

3. Did my first vlog, whoopwhoop!

Miam Miam

2011-12-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

Dinner @ Ajisen + Study + Photobooth with Rishon today. Hehehe kept laughing at our pictures, videos and also STEVEN LIM HAHA. Had my fill of much needed laughter especially during this period with so many tests. Ok, I am supposed to study but I'm not. I'm just gonna wing it? Anyway, here's a random video just for fun.

17th

2011-12-03T23:32:00.001-08:00

Had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market on Wednesday evening while talking about gross stuff. So long since I last saw Maggie and we did a lot of catching up :) + exchanging gossips which left me shocked beyond words. Anyway, they literally made me jump when they sang me a birthday song out of nowhere! Hehehe love them.

Stupid Kat, why wear heels and make me look extremely short :(

Had a fun-filled Thursday evening with le clique! Awesome thai food at Far East and shared so much laughter throughout the night, laughing at each other.

Saturday was day out with my babez Sean + Imran! :) Had a great time shopping even though I was a little disappointed that my Dr Martens went out of stock but oh well... Highlight of the day was going to Haji Lane to shisha and to eat Singapore's best wedges hehe. And we semi-mastered the smoke ringz which was so fun (*.*)..o..O cause we kept trying to perfect it!

Oh not to mention, that I did the first bravest thing possible (for me) since I turned 17 by finally wearing my maxi skirt that has been rotting in the closet, out!

No pictures available:

Classmates attempted to give me a surprise but sadly........ it failed. Anyway I really appreciate the thought of it! And I felt bad that I spoilt their plans, I really didn't expect them to do anything for me. Yes, I was touched. I almost teared when I read Jerome's and Jesslyn's cards to me. They are so sweet sometimes <3

Had dinner with my family at Medz @ Orchard Central on Friday night, great authentic flavours to die for at a reasonable price!

Thank you to everyone else who wished me and for the prezzies + cards that I love very much as well! :) This year's birthday seemed more memorable than usual, I love it and I love you guys!

Wishlist

2011-11-25T06:50:00.000-08:00

Birthday's in less than a week time and to be honest, I've never seen my birthday as a special occasion- it feels more like a normal day to me. It definitely doesn't help to know that I have about 3 tests/quizzes that fall on my birthday week. That's life for me.

Anyway, I've never been one to have long wishlists cause I don't really know what I want/need and I guess that my friends should know that better than I do.

But here is just a few things on my want list that i don't expect anyone to get. I'll probably get it myself heh.

1. Dr Martens Classic T-bar Maryjanes

2. Ikea wooden wardrobe

3. Prada wallet (yumz)

This is why I need to marry a rich man hahahahaha

Untitled

2011-11-20T07:05:00.000-08:00

Am going on a mini diet plan. Hope it works and I'll be able to stick to it.

If you can hold on, hold on

2011-11-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

This semester is going rather ok for me. I'm not sure if it's too early to say so. But I've realized a change in myself too. Maybe through working and having more time to myself during the school holidays help me pick myself up. I won't say I'm exactly happy with where I am in life. But one thing I can say for sure is that I've felt much better compared to the first half of the year. I learnt to appreciate the simplicity of my life now. So what if I'm not exactly close with my classmates in poly? Or don't feel like I really belong? At least my classmates aren't making school unbearable for me and I always have my friends from secondary school. All I needed, was a change of perspective. Nothing is as bad as it seems, it's all just our own perception. I'm done wallowing in self-pity.

Oh and I made a new discovery of myself- I have a weakness for cute guys with wavy/curly hair.

Fattttttttt

2011-11-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

Need to go on a diet soon.

Yesterday, all my troubles seems so far away

2011-11-10T08:48:00.000-08:00

BYE BITCHES

2011-11-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

Today was the last day of work. And I think I'll miss everyone there as much as I thought I wouldn't.

They are all so different, I swear. To them, I'm this innocent and conservative girl. But listening in on their conversations today after work, it is true, we're so different- almost like from different galaxies.. yes galaxies.

However, that doesn't make me like them any less. They are wonderful company, I can just laugh till my cheeks get cramped up.

On the other hand, I'm happy that I don't have to freaking work anymore! I don't have to deal with my managers' sarcasm and taking endless blames from them, thank the heavens.

Sometimes love comes around

2011-11-03T08:33:00.001-07:00

We're all the same

2011-11-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

Basic Space

2011-10-31T08:50:00.000-07:00

It's barely 2 weeks into the new semester and already projects and deadlines are flooding my schedule. Here we go again. "Argh" is the best word to describe my feeling towards school. Nothing's been going my way so far and I'm already trying to be the most optimistic as I can be.

Trick or Treat

2011-10-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween everyone!

I'm not one to dress up on such occasions but would definitely love to someday. For now, I'll just chill at home with my Marks and Spencer's halloween chocolate candies to get in the spirit.

I Need You So Much Closer

2011-10-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

Never felt so overwhelmed with feelings. Never thought I would cry. But I did. Now my friend views me differently. But I don't want that to happen. I just want people to know me as the quiet and smiley girl. I don't want people to feel sad for me.

Eye see you

2011-10-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

Wants: Canvas sling, Doc Marts, Eye themed accessories, Basic Black Cardigan

Isaiah 41:10

2011-10-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

"Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen, help and uphold you."

Shall use this verse to get me through my first week of the new school semester. Thanks marv. Ok I'm going to cry soon, I don't even know why.

Would you like a cup of tea?

2011-10-23T07:43:00.000-07:00

Humongous tins filled with tea leaves, they all look so preedy, no?

Me and may dad.... do we look alike?

Veal Blanquette (sp?), this is sex in the mouth, nuff said

Creme Brûlée

awwwwww...

I personally love the theme of the "Silver Moon" tea, looks so serene somehow.

So I went to TWG today to have my mom's birthday dinner. It was great and the food there was delicious, I swear. The veal I ate was so tender and it was served with mushrooms and baby onions in a subtle cream sauce. All the food they serve is cooked with tea in 1 way or another, be it in the marinating of the meat or in the sauce itself. Ingenius. Everyone should go there even if its just for tea and macarons, you can find no fault in this cosy place. They have a wide array of teas, a whole 4 pages dedicated to the different teas from different countries.

They also sell tins of tea and tea packets for those who would enjoy a warm cup of tea while reading a book and snuggling in bed on a rainy afternoon.

Perhaps my favorite restaurant?

Feels like it was just yesterday

2011-10-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

Starting school in about 2 days time. Let the misery begin. Hope I won't screw things up and things will go as smoothly as they can. I shall aim for a gpa of 3.5 this semester... again. Just realized how often I use the word "hope" cause most of the things I "hope" for doesn't even happen. It's like a redundant word. No expectations= no disappointments right? I've been optimistic for too long.

Oh and did I mention, this has been 1 of the worse years of my life?

Fade In

2011-10-20T11:21:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been really out of focus. I have no idea what I'm doing. Making mistakes that I don't usually make, I guess I'm just drifting by. Not really thinking about anything or taking anything seriously enough. Hopefully I'll stop screwing things up.

Best Dream in the History of Best Dreams

2011-10-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

I had such a wonderful dream yesterday, it felt so real. I mean, I know everyone says that but for me, it's different. When I'm having a dream, usually I'll know its just a dream. Anyway, I dreamt that I talked to Alexander Wang over the phone! It was so mind blowing, I swear. My uncle apparently had lots of celebrities' numbers, so he gave me A. Wang's and told me to give him a buzz. And I did! My hands were shaking like nobody's business. My conversation with A. Wang was quite funny, and we had a good little chat where I told him how much I love him and his work. He then suggested we should meet up in real life and talk. I felt my insides going off like fireworks at that moment. But then... as it all goes, I woke up. Can't deny it was a pretty awesome and realistic dream though.

P.S/ In other news, anyone want to go get a tattoo with me?

Promise

2011-10-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today was so........ messed up? No, that would be an understatement. I don't even know where to begin. But oh well, in times like this, it's the little things that gets me by.

(/edit)

My friend who works with me, quit her job today. We found the job together actually. Ok let me start from the beginning. Rishon, is her name. I got to know her through touch rugby. We were merely ordinary friends and decided to find a job together since our other friends have already found jobs. Through working together, we see each other nearly every day and have dinner together before work when we're working night shifts. We talked so much about our lives and our passion, we are so alike in more ways than one. We became so much closer and we even went out together recently. Our trip to get our first pair of Doc Marts. It was really fun, the day was filled with us wolfing down so much food. From random snack stalls to Cold Stone to Everything With Fries. We got to know each other so well and clicked on a more personal level. Now she's not just some girl I know from touch rugby but a real friend who I plan to keep by my side for a long time. Besides, I can honestly say she's the first girl friend I've opened up to and became so close to in poly. I thank God for her.

The fact that I won't see her that often anymore saddens me, but I made her promise we'll meet up often.

P.S. I normally don't reveal so much of my day-to-day happenings of life, but this is an exception.

And my heart told my head

2011-10-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

(Varsity Jacket- F21, Burgundy Suede Shoes- Topshop)

Just a few pictures of what I bought recently. As you can tell, I'm having a fetish for burgundy clothes and such of late.

Totally in love with this preedy pair of shoes. Initially they were out of my size in every outlet but this really nice salesperson went to check the storeroom and ta-dah! they had it in my size. I still recall my initial reaction to it. "OMG OMG OMG FUCKING NICE." hahahaha and when they didn't have it in my size at first I was so sad. I didn't even care about how much it was, I just had to get it and this is not what I would usually do. The price would normally turn me off but not this time.

F word

2011-10-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

Argh, I hate it when I buy new clothes because it looks nice and totally disregard the fact that I don't have a nice or skinny body to pull off. When I try it on and look in the mirror I'll think it looks fine but I'll be so insecure that I'll take pictures to judge whether I look fat in it or not. Most of the time when I think I look fine in the mirror, the pictures I took would make me second guess myself. So I'm in this dilemma and I have no idea what I should do. But I should just go with my gut and wear what I want... right? I'm so insecure.

Infinite

2011-10-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

Terrible Things

2011-10-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose.

Shuz

2011-10-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Nowhere Boy

2011-10-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Interlocked

2011-10-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

Today is no different from any other day. But as the darkness settles over the light, I keep thinking of something that happened today. During work, especially today, there were tons of kids around. I can't deny that I get a bit carried away from my duties and start playing with them. So there's this small boy, who's really cute. I kept hiding behind a wall and then popping up suddenly to "scare him", which really put a smile on his face instead. He even opened his tiny hands wide and grabbed my hands, he then interlocked our fingers on both hands while beaming happily. Something in me, just really died at that moment. I just felt so happy, just like the small boy. Even as I'm typing this, I'm smiling to myself. Happiness doesn't have to come from something huge or extraordinary, sometimes it can be simple, like this.

Everything I Ask For

2011-10-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

So happy that I was able to give my girl a surprise when I popped by her place to wait for her to come home, after my work. I was even lying on her comfy bed and watching Vampire Diaries (can't believe this) while waiting for her. It wouldn't have been successful without the help of my friends and her parents! So thank you all.

It was about 12am when she reached home and it starting pouring heavily outside, so I made an impromptu decision to stayover. The whole experience was really fun. And obviously the day after I still had work.

Overall, I'm happy that everything went as planned and I'm able to spend some time with my lovely amidst this busy period, not just for her but me too.

Happy Birthday

2011-10-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Peiyi, my lovely boob <3

So why don't we go, somewhere only we know

2011-10-06T09:25:00.001-07:00

I just snipped some of my fringe off cause it has already grown up till chin level. Honestly the reason I even grew my fringe that long was because I wanted to try having centre parting, but come on, I can't pull that off. It's midnight and while people are entering dreamland, I'm snipping my fringe. This reminds me so much of secondary school, where I would randomly snip my fringe when I felt like it, like in the canteen or even during lessons. These memories seem so far away now. Oh well.

And as you know once I snap 1 picture, it will go on and on and on....

what if I shave 1 side of my hair, hmmmm

me looking sadz due to a huge P. Diddy on my forehead, doesn't help that everyone keeps saying "EH PIMPLE!"

Empty

2011-10-04T10:27:00.001-07:00

Let love find you.

This Modern Glitch

2011-10-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

Unsilent Night

2011-10-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

Don't suddenly act like you care.

I am and was nothing to you.

Lust

2011-09-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

My Boys

2011-09-28T08:31:00.001-07:00

Experiments

2011-09-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

It's been quite awhile since I felt inspired to think of new ways to wear my clothes/bags/shoes differently. Today I browsed through Nylon and saw a pair of black plimsolls with a yellow mustache sewn on. I thought it was really cute, so I decided to do it on my old pair of white plimsolls that I hardly wear.

My Prayer

2011-09-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

I just want my life to be simple, like this. But sometimes it seems like too much to ask. It can be a routine for all I care, its just much better than bullshit right?

Ash Stymest

2011-09-23T11:18:00.000-07:00

2011-09-23T11:14:00.000-07:00

Ashes to Ashes

2011-09-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, goodbye for now. One day I'm sure we'll meet again. Today was so tough with everyone breaking down and stepping out of the strong front. It feels so sudden yet it was as if death was already knocking on the door just that he chose not to invite it in any sooner. A quiet and humble man I've known who has brought me up and made me who I am. I hope you know how many lives you have impacted in your own way. Tears shed. Already gone. Rest in peace.

Turning Tables

2011-09-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour, standing on my own two feet.

Results Day

2011-09-16T06:14:00.000-07:00

So I got back my results for semester 1.1 and honestly I don't know if I should be elated or disappointed. I've got a gpa of 3.33 for this semester. Whatever it is, have to buck up and do well for next sem and hit a higher gpa.

Anti D

2011-09-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

Marc Jacobs

Proenza Schouler

Anna Sui

Yigal Azrouel

Philip Lim

Jeremy Scott

Michael Kors

Sophie Theallet

Oscar De La Renta

Theyskens Theory

Marchesa

BCBG Max Azria

Bibhu Mohapatra

Karen Walker

Vera Wang

Betsey Johnson

Rachel Zoe

Reem Acra

Rebecca Minkoff

this is my favorite piece from the whole of nyfw

Carolina Herrera

Simon Spurr

L.A.M.B

Tracy Reese

DKNY

Derek Lam

Monique Ihuiller

Pamela Love

Erin Fetherson

Lela Rose

Christian Siriano

Pathetic

2011-09-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

Life is full of ironic people- just like me.

I Had No Cares in the 1990s

2011-09-12T03:46:00.000-07:00

Read through my old posts and realized how much I've grown. How I've become stronger. But I need to be stronger and better than this to get through all the shit now. I can do it, all I need is just a change of perspective.

Walking Disasters

2011-09-11T01:18:00.000-07:00

Cushnie et Ochs

Gretchen Jones

Cynthia Rowley

Doo.Ri

Richard Chai

Tommy Hilifiger

Prabal Gurung

Alexander Wang

Jill Stuart

Billy Reid

Suno

As you can tell, I've been pretty free lately. That's cause I'm having my holidays at the moment and how timely is it that New York Fashion Week falls exactly during my holidays. I spent a few hours watching fashion shows and having eyegasms looking at all the beautiful pieces.

Honestly, I don't know more than half these designers but since I've got the time, I'll get to know more of them right?

These are just a few of my favorites from each designer so far. Will be back for more!

2011-09-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be selfish. I just want you to be happy with whoever, even if that means I'll end up back at square 1- being lonely. l'll be fine.

2011-08-27T10:24:00.000-07:00

Clearing my wardrobe to fund my expenses.

Please support.

GOGOGO

Last Night I Dreamt I Died Alone

2011-08-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

Jump Into the Fog

2011-08-23T08:25:00.000-07:00

miserable & lonely

Just a few words to describe my current state in life.

I never thought I would loath life this much. I almost, every night, cry myself to sleep. I detest everyone at school in general. Everyone is just screwed up. It doesn't make anything much easier. I've had enough of this insanity that I'm going to implode soon, if I haven't already. I just need 1 person to make it all okay.

Well, let's say I'm thankful for having 2 people whom gets me through every day in school. I bet they don't even know how much they mean to me. One is depressed as I am, but he understands me very well, and I just love to talk to him. Another leads a carefree life, always teasing me and joking with me. Two very different individuals but both who put a smile on my face.

This really makes me miss all my babies from secondary school. And I'm more than happy that they didn't leave me alone and are always here for me. I just need them. No one else. When I'm with them I'm enveloped in hugs. Sometimes that's all I need to get me through the day. Whenever I have to part with them it just breaks my heart.

I'm searching for happiness in the simplest of things. Whether it be music, text messages or hugs, I'm just too broken to ask for anything else.

Sleep is my escape.

I can fool myself just like no other person can, I'm turning into a twisted man

2011-08-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

2011-07-25T08:17:00.000-07:00

I could replay the whole of the year when I turned 15 in my head. How it all started, how it all ended, how what's important is not the beginning nor the end but the journey itself. But that's over now. And honestly, ever since then I never loved anyone the same way I did with you or even loved anyone for that matter. The thought of sharing this part of me with someone else just brings back so many memories. Sometimes I wonder, if anyone can ever come close to make me feel the way I did with you.

2011-07-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

Forever and always,

through the good and the bad and the ugly.

Quickie

2011-06-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't really done a decent blog post on how exactly life is treating me at the moment. So in case you didn't know, I've started my wonderful tertiary education and already a term has passed. I'll be getting back my results by this week, so I hope I did fairly well at least *crosses fingers*. These are a few photos of some of the friends I've made, so far.

Despite how I love the poly life right now, I really don't feel any sense of belonging. I just feel lost and alone, like there's no one there I can count on anymore. I mean.... like in class and all. I miss all my secondary school friends badly. We've all grown up with each other and being apart is just strange. I just hope everything will feel more assuring and comfortable soon.

I've also realised how everyone has really moved on and it's sad how some people feel so far away now.

Nothing I ask for, but this

2011-06-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Met up with Sean yesterday for a little shopping and catching up! Miss him so much <3 We really have so many things that we've planned to do together. I'm pretty sure it will bring us much closer though we're physically so far apart. I miss these kind of days, when I don't feel vexed and have the time to really soak in every moment. I may not have much now, but I have my best friends (sean and peiyi) and sometimes, that's just enough.

Everything bitter

2011-06-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

I just realized how I can be so judgmental and bitter whenever I'm thinking of people and everything they are doing, whether it is to me, to others or even to themselves. But I've got to learn to understand, people do the things they do for a reason. After all, it's their life, who am I to judge? Sometimes I hold a grudge, but it's about time I learn to let go and forgive. I can't keep all these bitterness inside.

#nowplaying

2011-06-12T02:05:00.000-07:00

"20 way to see the world oh oh,Or 20 ways to start a fight"

Wherever you are right now, please cross my path soon.

2011-06-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

Anticipating August

2011-05-15T00:16:00.000-07:00

L.U.S.T

2011-05-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

Chanced upon Monki, a Swedish clothing store, while I was surfing the net today. I'm really drawn to the fabulous array of knits and shoes. I could literally stare at them forever. I love how their clothing is simple, with the playing of the colours, materials and cutting. Browsing through their site, I really felt like buying everything from their store. They also sell unique printed tops that are different yet eye-catching and exudes personality. This store is such an ingenius idea and would definitely suit all kinds of styles, even on lazy days! Love this store to bits, currently my new obsession.

A blink of an eye

2011-04-24T06:45:00.001-07:00

Approximately 5 months has gone by, with me having no school. Through these 5 months, I took up a job for a month and well, I finally understand and appreciate the fact that I am still schooling. The routine of having a job is so mundane, the hours and days drag on, sucking life out of people. Anyway, for the rest of the months, I've been enjoying days when I stay at home and spend hours reading, having movie marathons, revamping my old clothes to wearable ones for school. Everyday I slept at 4am and wake up at 2pm the next day. I also had ample time to go out with my secondary school friends nearly 4 times a week or so. I learnt how to play games like counter strike and l4d2, which were tons of fun. I could really get use to this lifestyle. Some people dread it, thinking it's sort of wasting their lives away. To me, it's a time for me to relax and reward myself for the hard work before going back to school again. So now, I'm back and am ready as ever to own this shit. Tomorrow's the first day of school, back to studying and all. I'm just thankful, school starts later now and I can wear my own clothes to school. Thus, another journey begins.

2011-04-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

2011-04-18T09:52:00.001-07:00

You tell me "sorry" and talk to me like it's all ok. But sorry right back at you, 'cause I really don't know what to say. If you're busy, it's ok. I don't want you to feel obliged to talk to me all the time, just say so, I'm not forcing you to do that. You've got all your friends and everything, honestly, I don't know what role I am supposed to play in your life. It's not about choosing sides. But really what do you want me to say? I just feel like a pest in your life, like I'm interrupting your fun-filled day. I would rather, you just leave me alone, we can all act like this didn't happen and just move on. It's much better for me that way too. So maybe I was wrong, for taking another chance to try. Even looking at your messages now, I'm just like rolling my eyes and sighing constantly. You still don't get it. This is just fucking depressing. These pass few days have just been full of shit. Even when I feel happy, it is just temporary. Just leave me alone.

This is why I hate to open my heart up,

2011-04-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Because I've got a jealous heart.

It's your heart, that gives me this western feeling

2011-04-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling rather lousy about myself the last few days to be honest. It's just usually how I react when I start talking about things to people, I get really absorbed in it for the next few days. I don't know if it's just me or, lately everyone seems to be putting a smile on my face. It's almost like I'm receiving this massive bear hug of love and care from everyone. When people tell me how much they miss me or want to see me soon, I get this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart cause it really seems genuine. Even when people care for my safety and health, somehow I just feel loved. Simple things like asking me how I've been and catching up really makes me happy. As I'm typing this, I'm even smiling to myself. My dad keeps telling me that he loves me and asking where his favourite daughter is whenever I go out these few days too. I feel really loved by everyone around me and I can just soak in (ok, I don't know if this is a real expression) this feeling forever. I haven't felt this way for a long time, literally feeling good about myself. Thank you everyone of you for making my day even if it's just by a simple comment. I love you very much <3

Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't breakeven

2011-04-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Hallucinating

2011-04-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

I guess this is goodbye

2011-03-07T09:00:00.000-08:00

~~I'm not going to blog here anymore.~~

I'm back bitches.

Day 6: 5 things you do when you're bored

2011-02-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

1. Watch funny people on youtube (namely: kingsley).

2. Start playing dress-up and hopefully get some inspiration.

3. Draw, more like doodle, something on my sketchbook.

4. Watch movies on funshion.

5. Read a book, I like books. 8)

Day 5: 5 signs that you're not into someone

2011-02-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

1. When I don't initiate conversations unless necessary.
2. Make excuses for not going out with you.
3. Ignore you completely. (when it starts to get annoying)
4. When I stop replying your texts out of a sudden.
5. Or I'll be straightforward and say "Sorry I'm not interested".

I realise how bad I am portraying myself in today's challenge, but that's really how I handle it.

Back Where I Started Off

2011-02-22T08:23:00.001-08:00

I have really no idea who I've become. I've really noticed the change in myself ever since I stopped going to church completely. I'm like using vulgar words all over, it's like peppered in every sentence I make. Honestly, these past few months I did feel lost and I really questioned everything about God. Ever since then, I feel a void in my heart. I don't know what to believe in anymore, or if there is anything to believe in. I've become cynical about God and miracles and what nots. My dad always says, "why can't you just believe in God, that this is a miracle.". Well, look where we've ended up at, where's God now? Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't believe in God or anything 'cause I do and He's been there at my lowest point of my life, it's just that He seems so far away. Yes, you will say that it isn't true, but really where is He? I clung onto what I believed in and waited for something- but nothing came. I told myself over and over "hang on, everything's going to be ok." but it came to a point where I lost hope. Only when I started talking to my friend about such stuff did I realise everything I was feeling, things that I hid from everyone- even myself. Whenever you see someone in church, has it ever occurred to you that behind that smile is a person going through a tough time or maybe he is telling himself to give it another chance and not to give up? Now that I have nothing, I feel like I need something/someone to believe in again. God's been faithful, and maybe I should just give this another shot before I wave the white flag. I'm going to do this for myself, and all I ask is for you to be there, to talk to me like good old friends just like nothing has changed. I'll be there next saturday.

Day 4: 5 signs that you're into someone

2011-02-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

1. I initiate some conversations (40%?) with him even though I might be just talking crap.

2. I blush in front of him. (darn, hate this about myself- totally give myself away)

3. I write him notes with/without any reason

4. Have random moodswings (people around me would notice)

5. Even in a crowded room I'll spot him and smile if he notices.

Day 3: 5 ways you break the ice

2011-02-17T03:51:00.000-08:00

1. Initiate a casual conversation to know him/her better.

2. Compliment him/her on something.

3. Act SUPER COMFORTABLE around the person.

4. Errrrrrrrrr

5. Wait for people to break the ice.

Day 2: 5 Not-so-basic Facts About You

2011-02-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

1. My celebrity crushes: Logan Lerman, Aaron Johnson, Bradley Cooper & Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

2. I have 9 huggable things on my bed.

3. My favourite band is The Beatles.

4. I love cheese, I've got to eat everything with cheese.

5. I used my first pay to buy Flora by Gucci.

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

2011-02-15T02:41:00.000-08:00

Day 1: 5 Basic Facts About You

2011-02-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

1. I'm 157cm (no, I'm not going to state my weight)

2. I've got thick eyebrows

3. I've got natural brown hair, it's not that obvious

4. My feet is a euro size 36

5. I've a mole on my left palm

15 DAY CHALLENGE

2011-02-15T01:56:00.000-08:00

Day 1: 5 basic facts about you

Day 2: 5 not-so-basic facts about you

Day 3: 5 ways you break the ice

Day 4: 5 signs that you're into someone

Day 5: 5 signs that you're not into someone

Day 6: 5 things you do when you're bored

Day 7: 5 things that make you hyper

Day 8: 5 things you're known for

Day 9: 5 things you want to do

Day 10: 5 things you'll never do

Day 11: 5 good things about you

Day 12: 5 bad things about you

Day 13: 5 ways to make you cry

Day 14: 5 ways to win your heart

Day 15: 5 things you need to say

Toast for the scumbags

2011-02-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Ok let me start off by setting things straight. From now on, I'm not going to blog about what I do every day/hour/minute/second. If you want to know about that, you can always check twitter and facebook. My blog will be fully dedicated to my thoughts, whether anyone is reading or not. These "thoughts" may or may not have something to do with what I'm going through at the moment.

Valentine's Day is around the corner and I will probably be snuggling in bed the whole day while some of my friends are out on dates and what nots. People have asked me questions like "do you have someone you like?" or "do you have a boyfriend?". I'm only going to say this once, no and no, at least for now. Correct me if I'm wrong but most guys are just so predictable when it comes to such things. For example, a guy might think "eh this girl looks really pretty, I want her to be my girlfriend" and there he goes liking this girl. Wth dude, you don't even know anything about her. Everything seems so superficial, if you know what I mean. This is why I don't believe it when a guy tells a girl"I like you.", he should move on and stop trying to get involved in something just for the sake of it. I'm not willing to get involved in any relationships till I feel that it's right or worth it. I'm not ready to get my heart broken for a douche. Call me a coward, but if you know me, you would know that I don't fall for just any guy. So, just accept the fact that I'm not ready and move along. Stop asking. WE'RE YOUNG, WE SHOULD BE CRAZY, NOT TRYING TO GROW UP QUICKLY. I'ld rather be single and have fun with my friends doing stupid things (like clubbing in someone's room) rather than being in a relationship with a 5 year old kid.

The Next Chapter

2011-02-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

This is space is really rotting away. Ok so 2010 has come and gone. I recall crying on 31st December 2009 till 1st January 2010, it was a horrible 2009 for me. I prayed really hard then; that 2010 would treat me better. You can call me selfish, but I wanted it to be about ME, just ME. NO BOYS, NO DRAMA, NO NOTHING. Through 2010, I've never felt so alive, so free, and all I cared for were my family, friends and myself. It was as if a load was taken off my back. I also realised that 2011 is here! So....... I've got to come up with a new year resolution. I know I'm kinda slow on this, but that's just cause I thought it wasn't important till I read my previous blog posts and realised I need to achieve certain goals for this year. I want this year to be meaningful, not just living and taking everyday as it is. Here goes.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2011

LET LOOSE- Stop over-thinking. Stop controlling. Stop hiding. Have fun and be in my own skin.
Be courageous- Take on challenges, be adventurous, try something new and hopefully discover new interests
Save more money
Treasure my friends and family- do something nice for all of them and keep in touch with all my friends by making time for them (especially secondary school mates)
No regrets
Stop pushing people away
Be honest and straightforward with people
More self-confidence- learn to love myself despite my flaws

I think this is about it. Normally people write new year resolutions for fun, but I really want to look at this again at the end of the year and think to myself, "I DID IT". I'm proud to say I fulfilled 4/6 of my new year resolution for 2010. I hereby wish you a great year ahead! I know it's already february and nothing much has happened but it has been awesome. I'm slowly fulfilling my new year resolution already! I should sleep now, my body clock is really screwed.

Teenage Dream

2010-08-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Hello, know it's been quite some time since I last posted. Nothing's new, really. My prelims have just ended last week, and I've spent the rest of it planning dates out with my friends. Next wednesday will be the results for my chinese 'O's, apprehensive yet very much excited. Will update this space soon once I develop the films from my camera. Recently been watching Gossip Girl too, miss watching these drama serials. Hopefully I'll blog soon............ xoxo

Your mind is the scene of crime

2010-07-15T22:08:00.000-07:00

Hello, how was your week? Mine has been rather dreadful, regarding the fact that I was under a throbbing headache and sore throat. My dad says it's because of the 2.30am World Cup finals match that I watched which caused it. The following few days I would sleep 2-3 hours in the afternoon and still be able to sleep at 12am at night. Anyway, the World Cup 2010 finals match between Spain and Netherlands was such an apprehensive match, both sides being weak in their attacks and defences, in my opinion, they weren't giving their best. Their best players were also not performing up to standards during their match, However, during the last 5 minutes when the match went into the extra time, Iniesta scored a goal for Spain, 1-0. Spain are the World Cup Champions! Who ever thought that they would win right? Hooray~ My dad seems rather keen on buying me the Spain jersey and agrees that Torres looks cute, teehee! I miss the World Cup already :(

So yesterday I went to watch The Inception with my dad at the Grand Cathay cause he got two free tickets! Generally, the movie is very deep. You have to be fully absorbed or even 1000% absorbed to understand and to follow the series of events that are occuring. The movie is very well thought through, with a lot of details. It is a movie worth watching, even twice. I think I'm going to watch it again, cause I couldn't really grasp the whole story line. I'm trying to search the net for any more information on the story itself. It is definitely worth watching, I'll assure you on that.